Round Two and Five-Eighths

Official spokesperson… ah, spokes-squirrel for squirrel-of-interest wanted regarding recent public mischief. Name withheld. File photo.

Or, “How a 500 gram squirrel chewed a hole in a side of my new green bin.”

[Self-select the title featuring your preferred system of measurement.]

Well, the neighbourhood squirrel did exactly what I was expecting.

The smart thing.

That is, he or she chewed an opening in the bin where I couldn’t protect it with the cover I had.

It didn’t take long and rewards are huge for the taking.

Who knew teeth designed for nuts could have been so effective in cutting through the new plastic bin carts? It’s not as if they’ve been known to do that with plastic bird feeders, right?

And so it would seem our friend has unwittingly become Public Enemy #1. Which, judging by how we conduct business here, the matter will eventually end up in the courts.

But in court or out, in doesn’t really matter. Either way, I wouldn’t bet against the squirrel.

“I see your PhD and raise you a hole I could drive a truck through anytime I wanted to, that is, if I could drive.” — Sources close to the squirrel. The devastation continues unabated. State of Emergency pending next wave of attacks on bins, and on advice of a consultant.









“Kuk! Kuk! Kuk!” — Neighbourhood Squirrel (Approximate translation: “That was easy. Are you sure you’re supposed to be smarter than me? ‘Cos it doesn’t seem as though this is going your way.”)

About Craig Chamberlain

Ward 3 Guelph resident, dad and step-dad.
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